I’ve labelled this little blog post; ‘Narcissistic Me’ as that is exactly how I feel sharing my life quite so openly on social media. It was part of the reason I took so long setting up my blog as I’ve been so worried about how I’ll come across; all ‘me, me, me’ and ‘look at my not very exciting life’. Every day, I want to apologise to my friends for oversharing and flooding their Instagram timelines with my photos. But at the same time I want to have a platform to write, to keep current with the ever-changing social media world and to connect with likeminded people who are in a similar position. My ‘not very exciting life’ is all I have to go on!
It feels very, very strange not being employed anymore, being a full-time mother is something I often feel the need to justify or over-explain to other people. Part of my identity has been lost in not having a job (well I do have a job, I just don’t get paid for being a mother) and so in part, this blog is my validation of my ‘self’. It’s also, if nothing else, a great way of learning some new skills and keeping me entertained. (Honestly, thinking of things to Instagram each day is much harder than it looks!) If I’m not out and about, I can spend a lot of my time alone at home with Nella which can be incredibly isolating as I LIVE to chat to other people. Being active on social media goes a small way in compensating for this and seeing that so many other mums feel exactly the same makes me feel much less alone.
But it does make me anxious wondering if I should be sharing so much of myself, my family and especially of Nella who hasn’t had a choice in the matter with people who don’t know us. I know lots of people have rules about putting their children on social media, am I putting Nella at risk? I very much hope not. Part of achieving a connection with other people is sharing part of yourself. The people I follow and admire most on social media are the ones who aren’t afraid to express their true feelings, they are the oversharers who tell the world their most embarrassing stories, we laugh and cringe along with them. I say ‘people’ but I mean other women, women I admire for their wit and humour like Lena Dunham, Caitlin Moran, Constance Hall – there are so many more but it would take too long to list.
I know I’m a far cry from the likes of Lena Denham, but for now, I’ll keep blogging and oversharing, and attempting to find my place out there in the social media world. I’d first like to take a moment to apologise to my friends and family who feel obligated to follow me whom I’m annoying in the process!